When Jim and ‘is wife Mabel found they’d won the lottery
They determined straight away to take a trip across the sea.
With their little lad named Albert who were scarcely more than six
And ‘ad always thought that holidays were for the very rich.

They took the train t’airport and went searching for the plane
But what with gates, and terminals, they near went ‘ome again.
So Mabel said she’d sort things out when they reached their destination
They’d decided on Bahamas as it’s such a friendly nation.

That were what the nice man said, the one who flew the plane,
He seemed to ‘ave the ‘ang of it even in the rain,

(That pattered down the windows in a steady trickle).
Jim said ‘is name was Richard (and Branston, like the pickle).
But looking out the window when they came into land
T’were coconuts and palm trees, even on the sand.

And the sea stretched out an endless blue all mingled with the sky
With tiny little islands, and Jim said ‘e’d like to try
To swim across and visit as ‘is breast stroke were quite good,
So long as it was calm like, and Mabel said he should.

But first she must call Richard, (Branston like the pickle)
To tell him where ‘e’d gone all wrong, not meaning to be fickle.
He were very sympathetic, ‘oped they’d ‘ave a lovely stay
And would take a note of what they’d said but warned them ‘bout the bay,

Though picturesque t’was always wise to look out for the shark
T’were very small and quite docile but dangerous after dark
When ‘e liked to eat his dinner whole in one almighty swallow,
With canapés of seaweed, and a jelly fish to follow.

He went by name of Moby, ‘e were old and battle scarred
With teeth as sharp as bayonets, and an evil eyed regard.

The next day t’was decided they’d go out for a spree
And sat in deckchairs on the prom while Albert splashed in t’ sea.
Then came a huge commotion, t’were such a dreadful din
For looming on t’ horizon were a black and ugly fin.

Then there were a mighty scramble as the bathers splashed to shore
But too late for little Albert, ‘e were firmly clamped in t’ jaw.

“I’ll save our lad!” cried Father, as ‘e dove into a wave
Unleashing ‘is best breaststroke ‘e were valiant and brave.
“The shark ‘as eaten Albert” Ma wept in voice so tragic,
While Father powered through the surf as if propelled by magic.

But Jim were feeling undeterred, ‘e were gaining on the shark.
And Albert, ‘e were waving, seemed to think it quite a lark.
But just then, from the clouds there came a red and blue balloon
That ‘overed gently o’er the waves then landed in t’ lagoon.

Old Moby juddered to an ‘alt, looked up with beady eyes
Then gaped on ‘igh with open jaws and so released his prize.
“Yippee!” cried little Albert, as they scooped ‘im from the sea
And floated back towards the land as gentle as can be.

The shark then looked quite angry as ‘e turned ‘is gaze to Jim
Who quickly changed direction and resumed ‘is frantic swim.
With the monster snapping at ‘is heels ‘e were seconds from disaster
Unleashing his best breaststroke, (but this time even faster!).

He dragged ‘imself onto the sand in a state of agitation
Till a very nice young lady gave ‘im mouth resuscitation.

Then Richard (Branston, like the pickle), came striding ‘cross the sand,
It seemed it were ‘is striped balloon, ‘e had Albert by the hand.
He praised Jim for ‘is bravery, then ‘e asked them all to tea
With that lady from Titanic and a royal princess, or three.
And when they said their last goodbyes, and climbed on board the plane
Mabel gave an ‘eartfelt sigh at the thought of ‘ome again,

She said, though she were grateful to see ‘ow others fared
She’d be ‘appier to stay indoors and get the roof repaired.
And for any future ‘olidays, well Blackpool were quite near,
While if you wanted some excitement, there was ghost train on the pier.

And for water entertainment there were always Centre Park,
True, it didn’t ‘ave a beach front
But nor did it ‘ave a shark!



© Carol Prior (June 2014)